Note number One...

I love you so much that I get all teary-eyed thinking about you. I cry with joy, knowing that I have you makes me feel so special. I think I may be the luckiest young lady in the world to have you, your my everything and always will be.
You have my heart and it hurts when i'm not with you.

I love you.
B.

Lover

Always and forever...


B.

Sickness..

Being sick isn't so great at all. It's horrid!
GO AWAY GLANDULAR FEVER!
I can't even update this blog properly, thanks illness.
Someone please come look after me, please. My body is too weak to do things all on my own, this feeling isn't enjoyable.
:(
B.

Dearest Fox

A zest for life exudes from you, regardless of whether you’re down or not.
You want so much out of life, and you don’t hesitate to go get it – even if from your sickbed, while held down for reasons out of your control.
A lesser man wouldn't be able to show the smile that graces your face most every morning. And I must say it’s the most the beautiful smile I ever saw. One glance and I feel like i'm hooked for life. Your smile and your gentleness are a wonderful match made in heaven. The smile drawn upon your face pours an amazing feeling into my heart. No wonder I'm so in love with you.
You were made perfect, for me!

I want to see you use that smile for one million more days. I want to see you use that gentleness to touch a 1000 more souls. And I can’t wait to see where that zest takes you, us!

Love Bunny. x

I Hear a Symphony

You've given me a true love
And every day I thank you love
For a feeling thats so new
So inviting, so exciting

Whenever youre near
I hear a symphony
A tender melody
Pulling me closer
Closer to your arms

Then suddenly, I hear a symphony
Ooh, your lips are touching mine
A feeling so divine
till I leave the past behind
Im lost in a world
Made for you and me

Whenever youre near
I hear a symphony
Play sweet and tenderly
Every time your lips meet mine now baby

Baby, baby
You bring much joy within
Dont let this feeling end
Let it go on and on and on
Now baby, baby
Those tears that seem my eyes
I cry not for myself
But for those who never felt the joy we felt

Whenever youre near
I hear a symphony
Each time you speak to me
I hear a tender rap so dy of love now

Baby, baby
As you stand holding me
Whispering how much you care
A thousand violins fill the air

Now baby, baby
Dont let this moment end
Keep standing close to me
Ooh, so close to me, baby, baby
Baby, baby
I hear a symphony
A tender melody


-Diana Ross & The Supremes
X

Love Me Tender

Love me tender,
love me sweet,
never let me go.
You have made my life complete,
and I love you so.

Love me tender,
love me true,
all my dreams fulfilled.
For my darlin' I love you,
and I always will.

Love me tender,
love me long,
take me to your heart.
For it's there that I belong,
and we'll never part.

Love me tender,
love me dear,
tell me you are mine.
I'll be yours through all the years,
till the end of time.


When at last my dreams come true, darling this I know, happiness will follow you everywhere you go.
B.

YOUTH IS WASTED ON THE YOUNG...

Dash was well known for his sometimes stark, shocking and candid style of photography; often a kind of low-brow documentary of acts of rebellion, hedonism, sex, drugs, violence, blood, flesh and fetish. But he was also a sculptor, graffiti and installation artist. A point is often made that Snow came from French aristocracy – a family known for their wealth, philanthropy and artistic endeavours – which made his own artworks often be seen as all the more subversive. His photographs create different and beautiful visions for me. I read this article in a magazine that had created a complete different level of feeling and emotions. I feel like I can relate to the following article in ways. Rest in Peace pal.
B.

-The Following Article Written by Lesley Arfin.
Most recently in downtown NYC, a beloved hero of sorts passed away. Dash Snow was an artist, both graffiti and fine, and he died from a drug overdose, leaving his girlfriend Jade, his daughter Secret, and a plethora of family, friends and fans. Personally I knew Dash, but not well. Even when I did hang out with him, I wouldn't say I knew him well. What I did know of him was his constant good attitude and warm nature. To people that didn't know Dash, he might have been considered "too cool" but really, he was just cool enough. He was a living legend, a good name to drop if you wanted to seem like you knew what was up, but really he kept a very small circle of close friends and especially towards the end of his life, he was most likely suffering in a way that only few people can really wrap their heads around. I feel lucky to have gotten sober when I was young. Sometimes the thought enters my head that "I missed out". I haven't had a drink in a very long time, but that doesn't mean I'm immune to the wanting to do so. As time has passed it has gotten easier for me to avoid those cravings or at least become aware of them, accept them, and wait for the craving to pass, but I remember a time when it wasn't that easy. Most often when I think of the about the times when I used to get fucked up, they are not good memories. Sure, for years I had a blast, but towards the end I wanted to stop and I just couldn't. I would make deals with myself, compromises, and tiny little rules that I would constantly break. I'd say "I'm only going to get fucked up on weekends," or "If I go three days without getting fucked up, I can reward myself." Of course I couldn't abide by these fake rules and so I would bargain: "I promise never to get fucked up again if I just go out for one more night." Each time I broke another rule I would just feel worse. And the worse I felt, the more fucked up I wanted to get. I think because I was young it was easy for me to finally bottom out and surrender. I was broke, my "friends" were not really my friends at all, and I still felt like a baby in a lot of ways. I can't imagine how much harder it would have gotten for me if I had kept going. I don't doubt that I would have ended up in the same place as Dash, wherever that is. One thing we know is that it is not here, among us. A loft of my days are spent full of anxiety and fear. Life is hard, period. It doesn't matter how much money you have, or where you live, or how healthy you are. The universe does not specifically dole out what happens or doesn't happen to us. I don't believe that it does anyway. For most people, when they die, they are remembered strongly by the people who were close to them. I wish my grandmother were alive so she could teach me how to needlepoint better. I wish my grandfather were alive so he could help me with business and finances. I think of all the friends I have that will never get to meet them, and they'll never get to meet my friends. Maybe they would have liked Machine and Meryl and Bill. Maybe it would have been a life changing experience even. We'll never know. The elephant in the room when it comes to talking about death is that when people say something like "He's no longer with us." The remaining question is, "Well, where did he go?" It's nice to think there's a heaven, or a system that somehow allows us to see each other again in another life, but I wonder deep down if we can truly believe that. The thing I forget is that every day we are alive, living and breathing, we are in heaven.
This life we have on earth, it is heaven. And yes, awful, horrendous things happen and most of the time we complain like we're in hell, but the only proof I've ever had of a God existing has been through my experiences with other people. When I feel like I've written something that has inspired a girl in another country to shave her head, that's heaven. When I read a book and cry and cry because it's over and I don't want it to end, I'm in heaven.
Tonight I sat on a bench with my two best friends and we ate sunflower seeds and laughed our asses off. If there's another kind of heaven then I don't really want to know about it. If I die, I die, but at least we know when the shit hits the fan while we're alive there will always be a silver lining. We can choose to see it or ignore it, but it's there. I bet my life on that fact every day. So if you feel like your life sucks I beg you to take a moment and think about someone you knew who has passed and is not getting to live theirs. As long as we are breathing there will be different colored apples to eat and people who make us laugh until it hurts. I'll wait for those days no matter what, and try to be as in the moment as I can because when we're gone, that's it. I'll take a deep breath and maybe enjoy my anxiety attacks for a second. Maybe people will say "oh, it's such a cliche'" about Dash but really, after a while, they'll just stop talking about it. There will be nothing left to say because a life was ended abruptly, taking away from us rather than giving. We are selfish creatures who want more of everything. More good friends, more good times and more good memories. When you go away and we don't get more, we miss you. We crave you like a drug. But that feeling passes too and we forget. We don't get sadder in time; we get more forgetful. My memories have started to fade. Sometimes a smell or a song reminds me of my grandparents, but that fades too. If we're lucky we'll get to see a ghost, but I don't know anyone who's been that lucky.
- Lesley Arfin.






B.

I Only Have Eyes For You

My love must be a kind of blind love
I can't see anyone but you.

Are the stars out tonight?
I don't know if it's cloudy or bright
I Only Have Eyes For You, Dear.

The moon maybe high
but I can't see a thing in the sky,
'Cause I Only Have Eyes For You.

I don't know if we're in a garden,
or on a crowded avenue.

You are here
So am I
Maybe millions of people go by,
but they all disappear from view.
And I Only Have Eyes For You.

Written by -The Flamingos


B.

Spring Time, Sing-ing Time and Swing Dancing Time.

So Today is the first day of the season Spring.
It's not the typical spring day, it's a little bit too windy for me and dull. As I sit here in my apartment staring out the window, looking at nothing in particular all I can seem to see is the city buildings with a lot of branches of leaves swaying back and forth, it gets quite boring seeing the same thing most of your day.
I feel particularly odd, not too sure why. I'm thinking way too much! I have to learn to stop it even though I have a lot of "house wife" duties I need to do, clean the house, maybe bake some shortbread bunny cookies, plan some kind of a dish for dinner if i can be bothered, finish reading Nick Cave's The Death of Bunny Munro book so I can start another book.
The only problem is I've been stuck in this position of listening to 41 Original Hits from the Sound Track of American Graffiti. This is one the records I like to listen to a lot as it brings me an inner happiness, maybe it's really just wishful thinking, anyhow the movie is amazing. The sound track, even more amazing! I wish i got to live through the 1960's era as a teenager. It would have been Incredible!
I want to do swing dancing to Bill Haley and The Comets, I want to sip on milkshakes at Mel's drive in with my high school sweet-heart! Have a smile on my face all the time, wearing cute outfits playing games on pinball machines, drag racing down the streets of the Suburban California town, listen to old rock'n'roll, endless cruising in sweet old '58 Chevrolet's on a warm summers night.
As I keep listening to the songs more and more, over and over again I just dream of a life like that, it seems so perfect!
The lyrics from the songs are so meaningful and beautiful. The artists back in those days had created a true talent for lyrics and music that makes me truly happy.



B.